The Adventures of OOC Percy and OOC Annabeth
by Zoe Nightshade
Summary: Sick of OOC Percabeth fics? Well here's the grossest, most disgustingly OOC group of Percabeth stories ever written. It's parody.
1. The Deep Kiss

**He was stuck in the desert...nothing to eat...nothing to drink...no where to go...no civilization anywhere near...but he didn't care...because _she _was with him.**

**Ω**

**When I decided to write a parody about OOC Percabeth, the first thing I did was list things that bugged me:**

**1. POVs. A lot of OOC Percabeth stories tend to switch POVs a lot.**

**2. Too short. Most are way too short. This is fairly short, but not as short as some.**

**3. Annabeth being girly.**

**4. Percy being like some full-of-himself hot guy.**

**5. Romance out of character for Percy and Annabeth.**

**This is just a lot of Percabeth pet peeves added up together.**

**P.S. Another thing that bugs me is long Author's Notes, so here you go, an ultra long one.**

**Weepy, girly, daughter of Aphrodite-like Annabeth in love with stuck up, sex-crazy, hot movie-star-like Percy = OOC Percabeth**

**The Deep Kiss, a Percabeth parody**

**Ω**

**Percy's POV**

It was a sunny day in Camp Half-Blood. I went to the Athena cabin to see Wisegirl. I thought about bringing a flower, but there weren't any flowers pretty enough for her.

**Annabeth's POV**

My half-sister, Martha, saw Seaweed Brain coming towards our cabin through the window.

I shrieked.

"Oh no!" I said. "I'm a mess!"

Luckily, Ellen, a daughter of Aphrodite, happened to be in the room.

"Ellen, help me!" I said.

Ellen quickly dressed me up in a lot of make up and lent me one of her favorite hot pink tank tops. I put it on and gazed at myself in the mirror. Then, everyone else hid under the bunks so it would seem like it was only Seaweed Brain and me in the cabin. Ellen said that it would be more romantic.

**Percy's POV**

I opened the door and Annabeth was standing in the middle of the cabin smiling at me.

"Omigods, Wisegirl!" I exclaimed. "You look beautiful!"

She blushed.

"Thank you!" she said. She was wearing make up. It looked really pretty. Her hair was styled into a few ringlets. She looked a lot like when Circe put make up on her and dressed her up in the Sea of Monsters during my second year of camp.

I put my arm around her lovingly, and suddenly I heard giggles from under the bed. People were hiding watching me. I was so embarrassed!

I was suddenly furious!

"Annabeth!" I yelled. "You did this! You put people under the beds to make a fool out of me!"

**Annabeth's POV**

Who, me? I would never do something like that to my Seaweed Brain. I started to cry.

"But Percy," I sobbed. "I didn't, honest! They didn't have any time, so they hid!"

I started to cry on his shoulder, but he pushed me away.

"Annabeth," he said. _Annabeth_, not _Wisegirl_. He must really be mad. "I'm going to my cabin."

And he stomped away.

My cabin mates and Ellen started hugging me and comforting me, but I didn't care.

Percy was mad at me? I couldn't live. I decided to jump in the creek and drown myself. I ran to the creek. My cabin mates didn't follow me since they didn't know I was going to drown myself. They thought I was going to go somewhere alone to cry.

When I jumped into the icy cold water, I shrieked, but no one heard me. At first, I was only thinking about how much this cursed water was messing up my hair. I had spent two hours in the bathroom with a heavy curling iron for nothing! And that make up! I hoped it was water proof!

Then, I remembered that since I hadn't swum since my mishap in at Siren Island, I had forgotten how to swim! Oh no! I screamed, splashing around in the water. Would I die? But that's what I was there for! But I changed my mind. I wanted to live!

**Percy's POV**

How could she? I never felt so deceived in my life. She had put her friends there so they could laugh at me. I had been betrayed and almost killed during my first year of camp by Luke Castellan, but even then, I didn't feel so betrayed as then. I was in Cabin 3, sitting on my bunk.

Maybe Annabeth would come in and apologize.

"She can't."

I looked up, and stood up immediately, shocked. It was Aphrodite!

"What," I said. "I mean, what did you say, my lady, ma'am, or goddess..."

"'Aphrodite' will do, Percy," Aphrodite said.

"What did you say?"

"Annabeth was so upset that you two kids got in a fight, that she jumped in the creek and is drowning!"

"Oh no!" I said.

I ran to the creek as fast as I could. I saw her screaming and splashing in the creek. I quickly threw off my shirt and jumped in. I didn't need to throw off my shirt since I was the son of Poseidon, but I looked hotter that way.

I quickly grabbed her and pulled her under water, forming a bubble around us. I held her in my arms while she coughed up water and cried. Eventually, she finished coughing up water and just lay still in my arms.

"Annabeth," I said. "Please wake up."

Nothing happened. It was all my fault. I shouldn't have gotten mad at her. I should have seen though my anger that I loved her.

"Wisegirl," I said. "I'm not mad at you."

She stirred slightly.

A voice spoke in my head. It was Aphrodite's.

_Kiss her_, she said.

By now, our bubble had gone to the bottom of the creek.

I kissed Annabeth on the head. Nothing happened.

_No, silly_, the goddess's voice laughed in my head. _Her lips, Percy. Oh, you kids are so cute!_

I bent down and kissed Annabeth's lips. When she lifted her head up, I was about to put my head back up, but she grabbed my neck and kissed me really hard.

We kissed, making a silent promise to each other that we would never fight again.

We were in a bubble in the deepest part of a creek. It was a deep kiss, and the best one we had ever shared...yet.

**Ω**

**Well, people. There's the first chapter of my Percabeth parodies. Yes, ****_parodies_. I don't write that horrifically. I'm thinking of just doing a bunch of short OOC Percabeth parody stories like this one. Hope you liked it,**

**-Zoë**


	2. The Oceanside Nemesis

**Percy's POV**

Wisegirl was still a little weak from falling in the creek. Ever since I took her out or her unconsciousness and kissed her, she seemed so fragile. She also couldn't hold a sword. She said it was too heavy. I mean, falling in cold water was pretty devastating, emotionally and physically, for Poor Wisegirl, so I made it up to her by going to every class with her, doing chores with her, and spending my free time with her by the creek trying to get her to not be afraid of water.

Ever since she jumped in the creek, she was deathly afraid of any water, even if it was in a cup or goblet. She hadn't drunk any water since she jumped in the creek, which worried me.

So I used my awesome water powers to cure her. Of course, she needed to be exposed to it for the powers to totally work, so I decided to take her for a picnic at the beach. First though, I needed to ask Chiron since the part of the beach I wanted to go to was out of the camp borders.

**Chiron's POV**

"Yo, Chiron," Percy said as he walked into the Big House. He gave me a high-five.

"What fares you, young demigod?" I asked.

"I was wondering if I could take Annabeth out of the camp borders to the beach. You know, for her…problem."

"I think that is a wise idea, young demigod," I said. **(A/N: Notice how Chiron is obviously saying, "young demigod" way too much. Also, isn't this author's note in the middle of the fic annoying?)**

"Thanks, Chiron," Percy said. "You're the man."

He gave me another high five.

**Percy's POV**

"Wisegirl!" I yelled as burst into her cabin. "Guess what!"

"What is it, Seaweed Brain?" she asked, weakly.

"Chiron just gave me permission to take you out of camp borders for a date on the beach!"

"Oh my gods, Seaweed Brain! That's wonderful!" she said. She kissed me on the lips.

I went to my cabin, and quickly pulled out a a picnic blanket and picnic basket. Then, I went over to the kitchen and asked for some food to bring.

**Annabeth's POV**

At about noon, Percy took me over the borders to his favorite part of the beach. He had left his basket at camp because I brought mine and told him that I had something special inside (I had gotten together all my strength to bake him a surprise). When we were almost there, I saw a figure in the distance. Someone was in our spot.

"Oh no!" I cried. "Someone is sitting in our spot, Seaweed Brain!"

I started to sob. I cried on his shoulder.

"Don't worry, Wisegirl," he said. "It's a big spot, so we can find a place far away from that person."

"But it won't be romantic."

"Yes it will."

And seeing his face, so handsome, I believed him.

But when we got there, I realized who it was - my worst nightmare.

**Rachel's POV**

"Percy!" I yelled. "Annabeth!"

Percy ran over to me and said, "Hey, Rachel! What are you doing here?"

"Oh, happened to be around, and found this really pretty part of the beach!"

"Oh, I know. It's so pretty! As the son of the sea god, I say you have great taste in beach spots."

"Hello, Rachel," Annabeth said gritting her teeth.

"Hey, Annabeth!" I exclaimed. "So, do you guys want to join me in my picnic?"

Percy looked like he was about to say yes, but Annabeth tapped him on the shoulder and glared at him.

"Well-" he started to say no.

"I've got cookies," I tempted.

"Cookies? Okay then."

"Percy," Annabeth said. "May I see you for a moment?"

She grabbed him and whispered in his ear. He whispered in her ear and went over to me and set up his blanket.

"So, Rache," he said. "What have you been doing lately?"

**Annabeth's POV**

I tried to hide back my tears. I couldn't believe it. My Seaweed Brain, looking at…that ugly frizzball head!

I took out the food in my picnic basket. Seaweed Brain didn't know it, but I had baked him chocolate chip cookies with lots of love.

"Percy," I said. "Look what I made you!"

"Cookies?" he said. He looked at them excited. Then, he looked disappointed. "They aren't…blue."

Darn! I had forgotten that my beloved Seaweed Brain loved his food blue. So I did the unthinkable. I did something unfathomable to mankind, something that all girls would find unfathomable - I lied to my beloved Seaweed Brain.

"Oh, but I looked, Seaweed Brain!" I cried. "There wasn't any food coloring in the kitchen."

"Oh well," he said. "I'm not that hungry for cookies anyway. What else did you pack?"

"Just those. I brought a lot and thought you would eat them."

"Oh, I wish I had brought my basket," he said.

Rachel stood up.

"Don't worry, guys," she said. "I brought a basket with plenty of food. Percy, I brought blue cookies too! It's just a coincidence that you showed up. See, I didn't know you were coming, but ever since I met you, I have been eating blue food too!"

"That's so cool, Rache," he said. He put one in his mouth and his face lit up.

"This is delicious!" he exclaimed.

That's when I had had enough. I started to sob.

**Percy's POV**

"Wisegirl," I asked. "What's wrong?"

She sniffled and cried, "I wanted you and I to have a nice romantic picnic, but Rachel spoiled it all!"

Luckily, Rachel wasn't listening. She had gone over to the other side of the beach and was skipping rocks. Gods, she was hot.

"Hey, we can make this work. How about we make a deal: I will eat your cookies if you let Rachel stay."

"Okay."

So I ate Annabeth's cookies. I mean, they were good - delicious in fact, but she could have been considerate enough to be sensitive to my feelings about blue food. I hero like me deserves blue food. She could have risked her life and went outside of camp borders to go buy some. I mean, first of all, I save the world. Second of all, I don't boast about how great (and hot) I am, and third of all, even with all the good deeds I have done (not to mention how shockingly awesome it was for my to turn down immortality), I still have time for all those little unimportant people who did nothing compared to what I did (I gave Luke Annabeth's knife) for Olympus. I mean, really. Doesn't a wonderful guy like me deserve everything? And I was offered everything (immortality) too, but I was still so attached to the little people that don't matter half as much as I do, so I decided that I would die. So basically, I will be dying for all my friends. I guess I'm kind of like a Greek version of Jesus.

I hoped that when I was older I would be known as sort of a Don Juan or a Romeo. I could change my name to "Casanova Percy" and be the hot loverboy of the land.

"Seaweed Brain," Annabeth said. I looked up at her.

"Yeah?"

"Are you enjoying your cookies?"

"Uh huh," I said with my mouth full. "They're good."

She shot a stuck-up glare at Rachel, but Rachel was looking out at the ocean and didn't notice.

That's when it hit me. The fact that I should have noticed minutes ago - the only reason Wisegirl hated Rachel was because she thought _I _loved her. I felt touched. I almost cried I was so touched (see, that's how great I am; even though I have done all these great things, I still have time for feelings, tears, and love).

"Wisegirl," I said.

"Yeah?"

"Rachel means nothing to me, just so you know." I paused for a moment. "And you mean everything."

She almost gasped, her eyes watering. Then, she threw her arms around me.

"Oh, Seaweed Brain!" she cried. "You mean more than everything to me."

And as my lips touched hers, I realized that if her mouth wasn't smothering mine, I wanted nothing more than to say, "Wisegirl, I would do anything to make you happy."

**A/N: That was the second chapter of my Percabeth Parodies. _Parodies_. I don't write that badly.**


	3. The Awesomest Percashopping Trip Ever 1

**This is the third installation of the Percabeth Parodies. Yes, they're parody. I don't write this badly. Actually, it amused me to get reviews from people thinking this was actually a real fic. Reviews from people who ignored the title, summary, and multiple notes saying this was a parody.**

**So this time, it's not going to be a parody Percabeth written in Twilight style. This time, it's going to be a chatroom with, who else? OOC Percy, OOC Annabeth, and all your favorite PJO characters! (Although most of this will not be a chat room)**

**This is Part 1. Part 2 will be next chapter.**

**-**

**Part 1: The Awesomest Perca-Shopping Trip Ever**

seaweedbrainthegreat3: hey any1 here?

wisegurlalwayshasaplan: ya so how r u?

seaweedbrainthegreat3: good. how r u ambrosia face?

wisegurlalwayshasaplan: like totly awesome! like my dad gave me like 100 dolarz 4 shopping!

seaweedbrainthegreat3: omg coolz!!!!!!!!!!~!!!so like can i com?

wisegurlalwayshasaplan: lika ya., like when canu come?

seaweedbrainthegreat3: i dunno. now?

wisegurlalwayshasaplan: but ur in nu yurk an im in san frasnico

seaweedbrainthegreat3: i can mooch a ride off zeus

wisegurlalwayshasaplan: really how

seaweedbrainthegreat3: after i saved the wurld he sed he woud duu anything for mee. im coming now

wisegurlalwayshasaplan: kbye c ya

wisegurlalwayshasaplan has sign out.

seaweedbrainthegreat3 has signed out.

**(A/N: Normally, if this were not a parody, the next part would be in terrible grammar and spelling, but unless it is the chat speak/chat room, I like to use good grammar and spelling no matter what. Later in Blackjack's POV, notice that wen he talks about Percy he capitalizes words like Him and He and His like books do when talking about God. Also, don't you just hate when an author puts an author's note in the middle of a fic like this?)**

**Nobody's POV**

Percy got up from his computer chair, and ran outside to hail his personal slave and transportation, Blackjack the pegasus. Blackjack did anything for Percy after his awesome accomplishment.

**Blackjack's POV**

From my small, cramped stable, I heard master's whistle.

"Coming, boss - I mean, your highness!" I yelled. I used to call Him _Boss _and He used to tell me to call Him Percy but after he became the biggest hero in history, he said that _Boss_, nor _Percy_ were necessary. _Your Highness_ was all that was needed.

"Hey," Percy said. "I need to get to San Francisco. Fast."

Was He kidding? Since his great accomplishment, he had worked me hard. He made me fly faster than I could and for long times. Miles. But never across the country! Once I had to go to Olympus for Winter Solstice after He had saved Artemis, but I had Artemis's power then. Her blessing.

"But Your Highness," I protested. He put His blessed hand over my snout.

"_You _aren't going to fly there, Blackjack, you nitwit! You aren't even worthy of having someone great like me sitting on you for long periods of time. I need to go to Olympus to get Zeus to ask Apollo to fly me over in his chariot!"

**Percy's POV**

As soon as the lowly horse got me to Olympus, I ran straight over to Zeus.

"Yo yo yo, dawg!" I said. "Or should I say Top Dawg!"

"CALL ME ZEUS, DEMIGOD!" Zeus said in a powerful voice. **(A/N: I seriously did see the "Zeus said in a powerful voice" line in a fic. Also, don't you absolutely HATE author's notes in the middle of a fic?)**

"Yeah, sure, whatever."

Zeus heaved a sigh. "What do you want this time, Perseus?"

"How did you know I wanted something?"

"For what other reason do you come to Olympus other than for favors?"

That was a rhetorical question if I ever heard one, so I ignored it.

"I want to go to San Francisco, man - I mean Zeus."

Zeus, again, heaved a sigh and snapped his fingers. Suddenly, I was in San Francisco in front of Annabeth's house.

"OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" she shrieked. "PERCY! You're like here! It's like awesome!"

She ran over and hugged me tightly. Well, not that tight because she has no muscles, but tight for a _girl_.

"Hey, Wisegirl! So, shopping?"

"Sure, Seaweed Brain!"

So we, like, went off and, like, headed to, like the mall.

-

**You'll notice it was kind of short. Just part of the parody. I hate when fics have super-short chapters. Next chapter will be a continuation of this one! **


	4. The Awesomest Percashopping Trip Ever 2

**Here is the fourth installation of my Percabeth parodies making fun mainly of two characters created not by Rick Riordan, but by the terrible and untalented writers of the PJO fandom!**

**This is Part 2 of The Awesomest Percashopping Trip Ever. **

**-**

**Annabeth's POV:**

When we, like, got to the mall, the first thing I realized was that 100 dollars wasn't enough for me to buy the clothes I wanted to buy. Immediately, I started to cry. I mean, because I wanted to shop 'til I dropped and 100 dollars was totally not going to let me do that! When I went to cry on Seaweed Brain's shoulders, I noticed I had to stand on my tippy toes for my head to be able to reach over his big shoulder muscles.

"Don't cry, Wise Girl!" he said. I could see the hint of tears in his eyes. "It hurts to see you cry, you know."

**Percy's POV:**

Wisegirl cried and cried. I knew that even though I was totally hot and awesome, there was nothing I could do because as godly as I was, there was no way for me to make money appear out of thin air.

Finally though, I came up with the perfect way to make her ruby lips smile. I kissed her. But is wasn't any old kiss. This kiss was deeper. I leaned in hard and she would have fallen over if I hadn't grabbed her and hugged her tighter.

**Athena's POV:**

I was sitting up on Olympus and I suddenly saw my daughter with that son of Poseidon. That son of Poseidon. Didn't I tell him to like, back off?

**Annabeth's POV:**

Seaweed Brain's lips pressed up against mine. I felt like my teeth would shatter.

Then, suddenly, wind began to blow against my back so hard that I would have been thrown against the wall if Seaweed Brain's strong muscles hadn't been holding me in his grasp. Then, _she _appeared behind me, about twenty feet tall!

"Half-Blood!" she boomed looking straight at my Seaweed Brain. He stopped kissing me. His lips ripped away from mine as if they had grown to each other during that magical kiss. My mother stepped forward, her foot shaking the ground. Mortals ran around screaming, but Seaweed Brain bravely stood his ground, me still in his arms. "What have you done with my daughter?"

Percy didn't say anything.

"Athena," he said. "I know what you think about me and Annabeth, and I don't care."

"EXCUSE ME?!!!" my mom boomed, shaking the ground.

"You heard me, owl pellet!" Percy yelled. "I don't freaking care! I love Annabeth, and there's nothing you can do to stop our relationship!"

And with that, he kissed me real hard and our love was so sincere that my mom and everything else disappeared. They no longer mattered.

**That was Part 2 of The Awesomest Percashopping Trip Ever. Hope you "hated" it. And for people who ignored the title, the summary, and the multiple notes saying this is parody (yeah, some people did), this is PARODY. I don't write this badly, and if this is similar to your fic, you might need to go back and do some serious editing.**

**Oh, by the way, have any of you heard of the user, storm-brain or read any of her fics? Anyway, she started a site, Fanmortals. Basically, it's like the Academy Awards, but for fics, and a lot smaller. Visit fanmortals . webs . com, without the spaces. **


	5. Annabeth's Mistake

**Finally, the next installment of my Percabeth parodies! Yay! Okay, so now, Percy and Annabeth are both going to Goode High School. Like many OOC Percabeth fics, I am not going to give a good reason for Annabeth going to Goode.**

**

* * *

**

**Annabeth's Mistake**

**Annabeth's POV:**

When schools in San Francisco were all sucky, I had no where to go to school. So I got an idea to go to New York and live with Seaweed Brain and go to his school. So I flew over there and here was was. In Goode.

Percy and I walked through the door, arm in (his freaking muscular) arm. I shivered. I was, again, a new kid. I spent a long time perfecting my make-up in the morning. When I came out of the bathroom and Seaweed Brain told me I looked amazing, my face became so hot that it melted off my blush. Anyway, so we got to the door and I was glad because he was nearby. I wasn't as nervous.

Seaweed Brain walked me to my first class. I was starting the year late, and they had a test. I failed and started to cry. **(A/N: Notice how dull the writing is. Very flat, no real emotion. And also, don't you just hate an author's note in the middle of a fic?)**

**Percy's POV:**

At lunch time, I sat at my table with the homies as usual, but this time I brought Wise Girl. I introduced her as my girlfriend, and they were all impressed. I mean, all year I hadn't had a chick - this was why, I wanted to show them. Because this was my girl.

At first, my friend Big Bruce started flirting with her, but I punched him in the ass (no, actually I punched him in the stomach, but "punched him in the ass" sounded cooler) and he backed off of her.

"Guys," I said. "Leave her alone."

Wise Girl hugged my arm. I noticed that I had grown quite a bit because she was much shorter than me.

"You're my hero, Seaweed Brain."

AAGGH! My brain of seaweed came to a halt, and I froze. Seaweed Brain. Oh. God. I had done my best to avoid this, but not that Annabeth was here, I couldn't avoid it.

Big Bruce and a few of the other guys snickered. "Seaweed Brain?"

Buff Brendan stood up and yelled so the whole cafeteria could hear him. "Hey, guess what Jackson's name is? SEAWEED BRAIN!"

The rest of the day was hell. People in the halls would stop me and instead of admiring my muscles, they would say, "So, _Seaweed Brain_!" And then they would laugh.

**Annabeth's POV:**

Something was wrong with my Seaweed Brain. I really couldn't tell what. He wouldn't talk to me, and in the car when Sally was on the phone with Paul, I snuggled up next to him and he told me not to touch him!

When we got inside, he went into his room. He waited at the door for a few minutes. When I got near to his doorway, he looked at me, stuck out his tongue, and slammed it.

I knelt down next to the door, knowing he was on the other side of it. "Seaweed Brain?"

Finally, an answer. "Don't cal me that."

"Why not?" I was hurt. Was my little Seaweed Brain growing up?

"My friends. They teased me about it because you called me that in front of them!"

"I'm sorry, Seaweed Brain - I mean Percy!" Percy. The name left a weird taste in my mouth. "You didn't tell me not to tell them."

"Annabeth." His voice was stern. My tears ran down the door. "Go away."

I touched the door to his room, knowing he had locked it. I curled up into a ball, and cried. Suddenly, there was a voice. It was from in my mind.

"Annabeth Chase, this is Aphrodite. Open the door."

I was startled. "But it's locked!"

I turned the door knob, and sure enough, it was still locked.

"Lady Aphrodite," I whispered. "Can you open it?"

"No, I cannot. I'm sorry, Annabeth. The door represents Percy's heart, and if he has closed his heart even I cannot open it. You must work twice as hard to salvage your love for each other. Then, open the door."

I squeezed my eyes shut and thought hard: I love Seaweed Brain. I love Seaweed Brain. Memories came back - memories of him saving my life. Memories of him telling me he loved me. A light appeared, and I knew I had done it.

I stood up and opened the door to Seaweed Brain's room, and walked into his opened arms.

"I love you, Seaweed Brain," I said, squeezed in his embrace.

"I love you too, Wise Girl."

**A/N: I am honored not only by the reviews, but by the fact that this fic has been nominated in the Parody/Humor category on Fanmortals for the Veritas Award. However, like I said, it has only been nominated. If you would like it to win, please vote for "The Adventures of OOC Percy and OOC Annabeth" at this link: http:/fanmortals(dot)webs(dot)com/parodyhumor(dot)htm**

**Thanks so much,**

**-Zoë**


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